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Noisy neighbors driving you NUTS?!

If you're here, then they probably are.

No doubt you've tried all the reasonable things.You've talked to them, and your words fall on deaf ears. You've talked to the police, who can't enforce noise laws that you are perhaps just now discovering do not exist. You've tried praying, but even God can't hear you over that !@#$% racket!

We can help.

If you can train a dog to be housebroken, you can train an idiot to respect the peace. Like housebreaking a dog, this is done by associating something unpleasant with the behavior you want to stop. For that, I have composed ten tracks of the most annoying, attention getting sound possible. Sound you just can't ignore. Sound that drills holes in your forehead, sticks its thumbs in, and squeezes. Hard. Yes, it can be that bad. How is this possible?

Science shows: content is more important than volume.

You might think that more noise would be ineffective; after all, if your idiot neighbors cared about noise you wouldn't have the problem to begin with. Not so! The fool who enjoys booming thumping techno can be driven to suicide by an insistant baby crying. Some sounds demand attention.

My CD takes advantage of this fact by assaulting your prey with a variety of sounds, starting softly and at random and building over time to a mind roasting roar. Power tools and jackhammers. Barking dogs. Crying babies. Dogs and babies. Troops of howler monkeys! With chain saws!! Racing Japanese motorcycles!?!? Need I say more? Select a track to fit the target; or just blast 'em with the last track, no one can stand that one for more than a few minutes...

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Ten weapons grade tracks.

Express your frustration.

You can play the tracks back to back for one solid hour of 'conditioning', or use the repeat feature on your CD player to loop a single track for as long as necessary to get the point across.

Turning up the volume on their end just won't help. All the booming bass in the world can't block out a gang of crying, jackhammer wielding babies. Trust me. Your message will be heard loud and clear.

Composed and tested in the heart of Brooklyn, New York.

This CD was borne of the frustration of living in the noisiest place on planet earth, New York City. A place where eight million people live cheek to jowl, and everyone believes themselves to be the only idiot alive within a hundred mile radius. My neighbors used to be noisy. Now everyone within earshot has learned the valuable community lesson that unwanted noise is annoying, and acts accordingly. Quiet has returned. If it doesn't, a few minutes playing of that last track reminds everyone just how awful things can get! As the old saying goes, "If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere." Even on your block!

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